Like many of us I believe in magic, or the Universe and it’s infinite wisdom and power, sort of. Or at least that there is something beyond our ability to explain at work, and it makes us more comfortable to put a label on it regardless of how far fetched a story and its implied evidence. “This is true because it is written in a book”, type explainations have not always rang true to me. I think that a healthy bit of both belief in the wonder and magic combined with skepticism can serve us well.
As it turns out this combination has in fact just revealed another coincidence as I write this very sentence. The very Witch that I was thinking of appeared at this little cafe in town. To be fair, it’s small town and she’s not really a witch, but she is reading about Wicka and has read my tarrot cards. And thus, we come to the true nature of discussion.
On the new moon, she suggested that she read my cards and I happily agreed as she is really cute and smart, but I digress, that is another topic for another time. We first read my cards for my past, present and future. And like many mystical things I could relate to each card and its meaning. Shaping the meaning to fit my story, wanting to believe that these cards were tied to something greater at work. My past had been marred by love and love lost, and thus a guarded existence. My present state was in the healing process and ready to let go of those past injuries and the story attached. My future was full of wonder and delight. All this sounded accurate as I gazed into the candle lit eyes of the Witch across from me.
And then we did a destiny reading, where one card would reveal my fate. I would like to remember that the witch performed a ritual of blood and fire, charms and chimes, but really she just shuffled the deck, which were tiny for easy travel. So after the tiny deck was shuffled the trajectory of my life would be revealed. I know the suspense was killing me too. I chose my card using all the intuition I could summon, and much to our initial delight, it was a power card. One of the most powerful and influencial cards in the deck. The excitement filled the room as I dreamed of prosperity and my name in headlines and lights. Or my name atop best seller lists, as the new greatest American Author, to be among my heros and now apparently contemporaries. Hemingway, Steinbach, ______ and LeBlanc. Legends of their times.
Unfortunetly, I had drawn the card upside down. Which essentially meant that all of those dream bubbles were erupted with the tiny pin prick of destiny. The card’s meaning upside down, was that I would never achieve the greatness I desired and would fail at any prosporous venture I desired. The Witch of course, being a nice Witch was remorseful and tried to say that we could take another card. I would not allow us to try to shape this destiny or idea of destiny. If we are going to believe the messages and seek guidence from the other side, we must abide by some sort of code of integrity. For days I would tease her, saying that I should just give up on it all, for my destiny would be that of a loser anyhow. This of course was quite amusing to me, but somewhere in the teasing, my ego held onto the idea of never achieving anything beyond ordinary.
This was months ago, and still this is on my mind enough to share, so it was impactful. But it was something to allow the thought of being extraordinary for others to praise to simply evaporate. It allowed me to accept that more than likely, I will not be the next _________. This has taken all of the internal pressure off. I had been wanting to write to you folks for ages, but wanted to be good, and revered. But my destiny says it isn’t to be so, therefore I am free to move forward unimpeded by my perfectionist and approval seeking self, and to dive headlong into pursuits for the adventure. For the journey. I can “fail up” as they say. Each attempt and failure, proving to be the lesson needed. See you along the way…